Posted by: keepfishing | June 26, 2008

“He was a punk, and she did ballet”

Over the weekend, much in the same way as this incident, I was accosted by a man in the street. Well, I was frantically waved over by a man in a car. It’s almost the same thing.

Sat with a huge spread of KFC over his lap, he was offering me a bag of chips.


Alright pal? Do you want some chips?”

Um, not really, I’ve just had me tea.

Oh go on, I haven’t touched them I swear. I chose you especially because i liked you

You did?

Yeah, I like skater kids like you. I used to be one of them and wore tshirts that colour but then I sold out and started working for the man

-as it is, he’s sitting in a very sharp suit. Also, by this point, it has become clear that he’s quite trolleyed. Fortunately he has a girlfriend sat in the drivers seat.

Oh? Mate, how old are you?

Twenty Four

Really? Well, in a month I’ll be 26, I’m not exactly a kid anymore.


As his mouth fell open, trying to comprehend how some with such rugged boyish good looks could be both older than him and not in a suit, I grabbed the chips and ran. 



  1. Just good looks?
    Man you’re handsome in a way that few can aspire to or even dream of. You’d probably have been fine if you’d taken his girlfriend as well as the chips.

    Clooney, Pitt, Beckham? They’ve nothing on you.

    You didn’t even mention the charm and the chat.

  2. Chump.

  3. i almost don’t believe this happened.

    also, the author of the song lyrics hails from the same province as i do.

  4. “Chump” is brilliant word and describes the you of this story brilliantly. My new favourite word is brilliant.

    I wouldn’t have eaten those chips unless he swore down.

  5. He actually swore he hadn’t touched them (an exchange missed out in this transcript), and anyway I took them to a party where lots of other people ate them instead.

  6. I would like to second Lincoln’s comments.

    There are much more scathing than I could possibly be, brilliantly suited to this post and I salute him for that!

  7. reminds me of this story:
    Jack Sykes (Liverpool) wrote
    at 8:57am on May 8th, 2008

    So I’m walking down the road. It’s lunchtime and I’m off to find some food. Suddenly I’m stopped by a man dressed in ridiculous looking clothes telling me he has found the perfect thing for me to dunk into my milk…

    …That’s very presumptious! Do I look like I drink milk? What makes you think I drink milk? Is it my healthy finger nails that give it away?…

    The guys then proceeds to produce some unhealthy little biscuits called Oreos which have now been lauched in the UK for the first time ever! They are a family snack! They are available in all large supermarkets! Americans eat them all the time!

    …Americans are cronically obsese and their milk tastes of old rubber…

    Thank you funny little man. He is telling me I should buy Oreos and they will make my milk drinking all the more fulfilling. I choose to ignore him. Funny little man in odd clothing.
    I bought some Digestives. They are good with milk or tea or cheese or chocolate. A wholesome snack.

  8. Sorry about the Chump comment. It was kind of deserved. But now after a few days.. deserved to apologised for.

    Love you man!

  9. I’ve been inconsolable for days

  10. You guys are mental…!

  11. On the same sort of theme my Mum wants you to tidy up your appearance before December; you may end up looking like you work for the (Young) Conservatives. Unlucky…

  12. Well, December’s a long way away. I may even have got a job and become responsible by then. How does she define ‘tidy’? I got my haircut the other day. It’s a start…

  13. You should so grow a crazy beard between now and December….

    Or is that mean to McZero’s Mum?

  14. […] Anyway, I was assuming the nose would make for interesting observation, I took some pictures over the last couple of days. Fortunately, it’s not nearly as bad as could have been, and the photos aren’t so impressive. However, if I believed in Karma, I’d still think the incident was a result of my commentary here. […]

  15. pah phooey you can dress it up anyway you like, but you know “boyish good looks” is just another way of saying “People think i’m 12 years old”

    In any case, its easy to look like a chump… er i mean hippy… er… its easy to look like you look when you’re bummin round on student time and diving for a living (not that i’m at all jealous).

    No, the mark of true genius is the ability to hold down a professional job and still look like a scruffy git. I thank you.

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