Posted by: keepfishing | December 22, 2005

So this is Christmas…

Okay…so Derby officially sucks. As a city that is. Derbyshire the county is gorgeous. The city however, just depresses me. Granted, the older bits are sort of nice, but for the most part nasty glassy shops/bars have been squeezed in and the place looses its character. Then there’s the indoor markets, which whilst being fun and cheap (I wish edinburgh had one) to be honest, are full of teenage mums and unemployed people (not counting the people who work the stalls), and at this time of year shelves and shelves of Christmas tat. I mean, who buys a plastic santa with a bulb stuck up his bum that will sit in a corner and glow ominously? Actually, I know part of the answer to that question, because I’ve seen the windows of the houses of the people who hoard them. Now I just need to find out who actually lives in them.

And for my final rant on this topic, i present the German Christmas Market. The one in Derby touts itself as ‘The Original German Market’. But how original does it have to be to be original? It can’t mean ‘original’ as in ‘the only one’ because every city I’ve been in this month has had one (Edinburhg, Liverpool, Birmingham…). Does it mean the first market? Surely thats in German?? Maybe it means ‘the first market to come and slum it in the centre of some dreary city for a month’. But if it was the first market to come here, then surely they would manage to find a city more presitigious and less slumy than Derby?

Anyway, I still love the countryside out here. Its beautiful and smells of country and afternoon walks when its cold and the sun is going down and the mud is still hard and frosty are great. I wish I had my car with me (or my parents weren’t using theirs for work), so I could escape further into the hills and see all the places I was forced to go for walks under duress when I was a kid.

So what actually have I been up to since I’ve been back? Mostly nothing. And it’s been great. I’ve walked the dog a couple of times, I’ve slept in until midday a couple of times, Ive read some books, I’ve acheived some new highscores on old Amiga computer games I haven’t played for 10 years, and I’ve even been out drinking in the afternoon with an old friend.

And this mornign I ventured into town (which sparked the rant above). Bus prices have gone up, they’ve even re-painted them from a tasteful burgendy to a kind of vomit/tangerine mix. Nando’s have even managed to put in a restaurant since I was last here, supporting my theory that they’re challenging Starbucks for world domination (to my knowledge there’s still only one in Derby).

But probably the most exciting (and not very at that) moment was being stopped in the street by a guy about my age asking “excuse me sir, do you have a sense of humour”? When I answered that I thought I was very funny, he then asked me if I liked dirty jokes. Which I found odd. To my mind, dirty jokes aren’t really associated with a sense of humour, rather they indicate a lack of a sense of humour, because the only thing you can laugh about is smut and inuendo. But then, maybe I’m a snob. Anyway, apparently this guy was a student selling a christmas book of dirty jokes for £2 (roughly the price of a pint – I’m not suspicious) to support his student loan. I duly declined, and walked 10 yards further on, only to be stopped by another guy doing exactly the same thing.

I hope the sheer length of this ramble has gone someway to making up for my lack of posting recently. Congratulations if you’ve made it this far! And apologies for the lack of photos, but I really can’t be bothered uploading any through a dial up connection.

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Responses

  1. sorry Derby sucks. You won’t be there for long though. I hear rumours of switzerland. Have a great Christmas and new year.

  2. HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU (AND EVERYONE ELSE) HOW BADLY DERBY SUCKS???!!? WELL…HOW LONG?

    jeez…some people!

    Nottingham also has its very own little German market so the Derby one isn’t even the original one in the East Midlands…that honour goes to the biggest city in the region and the one with the airport named after it. *cough*

  3. >> “(roughly the price of a pint – I’m not suspicious)”

    You don’t live in London, then!

  4. No, i live in Edinburgh, where in many places, the price of a pint is comparable. I was equating the £2 to what a Derby uni student might pay in their student union or something.

    And before people get smart, I don’t want to know by how many pence my estimation is out by.

  5. Glad you’re (almost) enjoying Scotland! Found something you might be interested in… http://www.tallmenshoes.com/

    Also have to point out “nasty glassy shops/bars have been squeezed in and the place looses its character.” I think you might have ment that the place has lost character, not aquired looser character (which is a concpet I’m not sure I quite understand, unless you’re talking about some kind of area with red street lamps…).

    Anyway glad you were able to spend some time looking around a German market, and the Santa thing you say you have in your window sounds wonderful! (sic)

    JA

  6. I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

  7. haha! Al got spam! And filthy, smutty spam at that! Hope you had a good Christmas!


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