Posted by: keepfishing | December 2, 2005

It’s St Andrew’s day, so let’s eat some haggis!

For those of you who don’t know what haggis is, here is the Wikipedia definition (with only a few words removed to make it flow better):

Wild Haggis
are creatures native to the Scottish Highlands. It is generally held that the haggis is a three-legged bird with vestigal wings like an ostrich or an emu. Each leg is believed to be different length, a short leg and two long legs, allowing it to run rapidly round the mountains and hillsides which make up its natural habitat. It is also believed that male haggis run only clockwise and female haggis run only in an anticlockwise direction. However, this only occurs when it is disturbed from its normal routine of sleeping on the heather which covers the hills and mountains of Scotland. During Haggis Season, Wild Haggis are hunted, and their meat served up as a local delicacy, the well-known Scottish food, haggis. Scotch eggs are this creatures eggs.

Wild haggis can sense also vibrations in the ground produced by other animals, including humans, and this, along with its nocturnal habits, explain why living specimens of the haggis are so rarely seen. However a haggis can easily be caught by running around the hill in the opposite direction. A group of Haggis is sometimes known as a heap.

There are two species of haggis, one with longer left legs and the other with longer right legs. The two species coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed because in order for the male of one species to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result of this difficulty, differences in leg length among the haggis population are accentuated.

So Wednesday was the day of our patron saint (when will we get a national holiday for it??), St Andrew. Tradition therfore required that we eat some haggis. The brighter one’s amongst you will have noticed that infact, wild haggis are a myth, and that the words I removed from the wikipedia description were mostly ‘folklore’. Amusingly, however, a survey in 2003 revealed that one-third of American’s believed haggises were real animals. What I find particularly hilarious is that 23% arrived in Scotland believing they could catch one. Oh, how my sides hurt.

So as the more discerning reader will note, haggis is actually, little more than some sheep offal cooked up with some oats and stuff traditionally in a sheep’s stomach. Whilst my dinner yesterday had a synthetic bag, the primary ingredient was indeed sheep’s lungs. And yes, it was very very tasty.

And finally, a little present especially for my good frined Jonny Arundell. Watching this video made me think of you thinking of me. Hellmans delight .
I apologise to any of the rest of you who watch it and actuallly gag. i did. It’s at your own risk folks!!



  1. Have you ever met one of the 23% of American visitors looking to kill a Haggis? I haven’t. Most I know want to vomit when they hear what your “delicacy” actually consists of.

    O, Haggis my dearest, I love thee…
    When I eat you, I’m walking on air…

    Only a true Scot could ever eat and relish that dish, thats for sure.

  2. Beg to differ. I had haggis while in Scotland and it was quite tasty.

  3. Dude, I am with Ashley. I would say most Americans probably don’t know you eat such a disgusting dish called Haggis and those that DO (the few that own passports) don’t want to go near the sick things…

    So you are saying they are not ambi-turners?

  4. I’ve met Americans who believe that Haggis are real creatures. They were going on STINT too, you’ve been talking to the wrong colleagues ladies.

  5. Love the new hair cut Al! Did feel a little sick watching the end, but thought back to the Chilli incident and laughed instead!

    Did you also know that 93 per cent of American women think that all English men look and sound just like either Hugh Grant or Prince William? It may also interest you to know that 93.4 per cent of statistics are based on fantasy…

    One last thought; the Scottish insistence on eating Haggis might possibly have something to do with why you have the lowest life expectancy in the developed world…

  6. Welcomes to you, I am over here just a moment from Norway, in the Bodø. I am knowing that you are being in Scotland but am not being sure about how that is meaning. At this time I am in London, which you may know is in England where I am being told is the capital of all of the Britain. In Norway we are using Oslo for this and being living in Bodø I am knowing how it is feeling to have the feeling of littleness when being meeting people from the good places. We are not having any of this haggis, all we eat in Bodø is fish. We are often having the farmed sammon for it being better for the enviroment, we are all liking making love to the world in Bodø but are having the problem with the Oslo people driving around in their cars and making it worse with there eating of the carrots. In Bodø we are makeing the effort to make the sea more safe for the fishermen by eating the Wales. I am not having the luck in finding the Wales here on any menu, but was in conversation with a nice woman in Kings Cross in the early morning who was telling me that your Ann Robinson is wanting to help the people of Norway in the hunting of the people of the Wales. I was not looking for the playing with her but she was so nice to me and I was before knowing how in bed with her. She was I think from Sweden by her not feeling the cold of 3 am in the morning. When she as talking to me on the street she was wearing a very short skirt, alot like some of the girls are finding it wearing in Oslo. After she was talking to me and I was giving her some money for her to go to her home I am having to talk to the Polizie, who are talking to be about I don’t know. They where in being very firm with me, and I am remembering the shooting that they do here, and am being glad that I am wearing only my tousers so they are seeing me not having the bomb. Is it being worth visiting the Scotland town while I am in England? We are learning about the killing of all the fishes but are wanting to go and do the killings in the river, is your town having a river, and are there having the Wales in near by for me?

    Thanking you for your help, Freddie.

  7. we do think they sound like hugh grant.

    i arrived and my jaw dropped when i heard a jordie, a scouser, a brummie, and your basic northern accent…no offense intended.

    al–#1 fix us some haggis this week. #2 i think it’s hilarious that people are recognizing you in liverpool because of my and kc’s blogs (tonight one of the younger church elders said, “who is that?” and i said, “my friend alasdair, down from edinburgh.” and he said, “oh right, the one from your blog.”

  8. In light of your recent comment on my blog, am I to take it that you either know of someone, or wish to take the part yourself. The part was intended for a female but I imagine the part could be re written…

    Let me know, as the part of the Easter bunny needs to be filled soon! Thanks.


  9. This quote sums it up well

    “Harriet Michaels:Do you actually like haggis?

    Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it’s repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
    ~So I Married an Axe Murderer.

  10. I was very disappointed upon reading you last blog to find out that a haggis is not a real creature. While in Scotland I was one of those very disillusioned Americans… I will never forgive you Scots for lying to me so..

  11. I knew they existed!!

  12. Hey, when is the post about your week in Liverpool coming? I’m sure you will have some good stories to write about

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